How to Ask Your Child About Their Preferences After an Orlando Divorce

During a divorce or breakup, there may come a time when you ask your child about their preferences. This is an important yet daunting step for many parents, but it can be even more stressful for the children. Generally speaking, asking a child to choose between their parents is one of the most psychologically damaging things you can do during divorce. So how exactly do you approach this difficult situation during child custody proceedings in Orlando?

Does My Child’s Preference Even Matter?

 Yes, Florida family courts consider the preferences of children when approaching custody disputes. Unlike many other states, Florida does not set a specific age threshold when considering these preferences. This means that a judge might listen to the preferences of an extremely young child, assuming that they have sufficient mental maturity and clarity to express these preferences.

That being said, older children are more likely to shift custody outcomes when expressing their preferences. This is definitely something to keep in mind when approaching this situation.

Why It Is So Important to Approach This Conversation Carefully 

If you’re ready to ask your child about their custody preferences, it is important to tread carefully. It is all too easy to pressure your child into making a certain decision. Alternatively, you might accidentally (or intentionally) alienate your child from the other parent.

If you broach this topic in the wrong way, you might experience serious consequences during custody proceedings. Your ex might accuse you of parental alienation, and this may cause the family court to grant you limited custody rights. If your child feels overwhelmed by the pressure to choose one parent over the other, they may experience serious, lasting psychological issues.

Consider Using a Third Party to Have This Discussion 

You might want to invite a third party into the discussion to make the choice easier for your child. Select someone neutral and unbiased, such as a child psychologist. This individual might be able to speak privately with your child and determine their preferences without subjecting them to excessive pressure. During a trial, a family court judge might also privately ask a child about their preferences – usually in a friendly manner.

Downplay the Consequences of the Decision

 You might also want to downplay the consequences of your child’s decision. Often, their preference doesn’t really have much of an impact on the custody outcome, anyway. Family courts consider a wide range of “best-interest factors,” and the child’s preference is only one of these factors. You should also assure your child that no matter what they say, both parents will still continue to love them.

Can a Child Custody Attorney in Orlando Help? 

A child’s preference is an important issue during child custody proceedings in Orlando. An Orlando family lawyer may be able to help you approach this delicate situation with confidence and efficiency. Consider discussing your circumstances in more detail with Steve Marsee, P.A. Over the years, we have guided numerous parents toward positive outcomes – and we can do the same for you.

Sources: 

peacheycounselling.ca/blog/2024/what-is-a-voice-of-the-child-report-why-is-it-important

childwelfare.gov/resources/determining-best-interests-child-florida/